And on the seventh day, God gave you a slap, the middle finger and then fucked off.

People have always told me, don’t trust anyone. For 19 years of my life that’s what I did. I was a lone wolf... Is this the answer...? NO. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life, its your life, I couldn’t give a shit. I'm just passing on the tools to deflect the shit that life throws at us all.

I haven’t had a too tough a life; I didn’t become a man on the streets, I haven’t been shot at, I haven’t come from a broken home and I haven’t had to defy all the odds to prove an asshole teacher wrong. The only obstacles I’ve had to face are from my own doing. I’ve fucked up in life; does this make me an asshole? No. Me being an asshole is what makes me an asshole. I’m human. I am literally the definition of the ‘average Joe’. But I’m not Joe. I’m Ashley. Fuck Joe. He’s probably an asshole anyway.

ANYWAY. The whole point of me writing this blog is that life has fucked me at every turn, now I’m stronger, I’m giving life the middle finger and helping others deal with life any way I can, right now, it seems to be my life lessons.  Say hello to your new teacher. Me. I’m chunky, I’m loveable and I’m narcissistic asshole. You lucky bastards.

I will tell you now, Almost everything on the planet pisses me off. But besides my moaning and constant sarcastic comments, I’m actually a lovely, caring guy.

This Post is purely to tell you what to expect from reading this blog. No life lessons just yet I’m afraid. Just hearing about me, you must be loving life right now. Keep reading, or don’t. I really couldn’t give a shit.