This post is to stress some of the best and
worst decisions I’ve ever made.
Best decision ever; taking the role of
President Roosevelt in a tiny, shitty production of the musical ‘Annie’ back in
2010. I can’t dance, I can’t sing, no I pretty much can’t do a thing. But what
makes this embarrassing suckfest the best decision of my life? I met my soul
mate. I decided there and then she was going to be mine. It took me 4 years to
fulfill that promise to myself, but I did.
The lesson of this story? Don’t be a
Fucking chump. Not everyone will put up with the shit like my lady did. Don’t
waste time. Follow your instincts, but don’t be fooled, not everyone will be
‘the one’
I won’t bullshit you, my love story is a
fucking cliché, but its true and I fucking love it that way. I’m not going to
flaunt what I have, but I can’t stress enough the lesson here, I’ve been
fucking lucky. I fucked up at every opportunity to claim what is mine. This is
why I decided the first of my ‘lessons’ will be about the strongest of them
all, my Bubby.
I never. NEVER believed in soul mates, in a
partner you were made for, I think its horseshit. Fairy tales, a product of
Walt Disney. A product of a society where we are brainwashed to believe every
woman is a perfect princess and every man is Prince Charming. It’s bullshit.
The world is full of assholes and pricks. I’ve been around them enough, been on
the end of them and been the shoulder to cry on when they do they’re shitting
all over people. I’m here to assure men and women out there, everyone has
someone made for them, do not settle, you are worth so much more. Unless you
are an asshole, in which case you should shack up with other assholes and leave
us nice people alone. We nice people will fund your contraception if you
promise not to breed a new generation of assholes.
ANYWAY. Men- don’t be a cliché, be you. No
matter your background you have this beautiful invention, courtesy of
evolution, it’s called a brain. It’s great. It’s powerful and is powered
uniquely to you. Biggest cliché in the
book: your soul mate will love you for you. You want to know why it’s a cliché?
Because it’s fucking true moron. Don’t try to be someone else, even if you’re
trying to be the “Prince Charming” we’ve been exposed to. I’ll let you in on a
little trade secret, you are a ‘Prince Charming’ to someone, just the way you
are. You should never, NEVER change who you are to please a partner because
chances are, they aren’t the right person for you. Every little insecurity you have about
yourself, your soul mate will love it and find it endearing and cute. Trust me.
No one has more faults with their; body, their attitude, their looks, their
personality, their sense of humor or just generally as a person, than I do. But
my missus loves every fiber in my body. Please don’t take this as me rubbing
this in your face, its not, just keep the faith that the right person for you
is out there.
The worst thing you can do as a person is
try to be someone else. It never works in the long run, what are you going to
do if they love the you that you have fabricated and want a life with that
person? Are you going to keep up the charade for the rest of your life? Answer.
No. You aren’t, I hate to break it to you, you aren’t Daniel Day Lewis there
are no ‘Oscars’ for your method acting. Just heartbreak. And believe me when I
say, its not worth the heartbreak. And don’t say it doesn’t affect you, because
it is. Yeah I’m talking to you asshole, you want to know how I know that? I was
you. I’ve been there. Do I sound like a fucking AA leader? Yeah I do, you know
why? Because its fucking true. Hello, My name is Ashley and I’ve been a love
asshole. Hi Ashley. Anyway. You feel because being yourself hasn’t worked, that
it will never work, so you decide, hey being an asshole seems to work, lets be
that. NO. Men are fucking idiots, but do you know what? Women are just as
thick.
Yeah. You women are thinking of leaving
comments about how I’m sexist. My answer to any of these comments: I’m not. Ask
anyone I know, I’m happy to provide fucking references. What Ashley Frisby is,
is a fucking realist. Women have been made out to be saints, Men- they aren’t.
They make stupid decisions like we do. They also live to regret. Women- you
looking for ‘the one’? Open your eyes, it could be anyone. You can find them in
the strangest of places. Honestly. I made the most beautiful woman in the world
(sorry ladies but you are nothing compared to my lady) fall in love with me.
But I was a prick. I thought, oh I’m only 16 I’m probably just horny and this girl
is attractive. FALSE. I knew I loved her. Know how long it took? 2
conversations with the woman. Never second-guess your instincts, because its
what you want. And more importantly if you think it is right, don’t let anyone
tell you otherwise. I’m 21 years old now, and I’m in love with my best friend
and I intend to marry her in the near future. Don’t second guess yourself,
because you’re too young, or other people tell you it’s not right, fuck em.
It’s your decision they will have to deal with it.
Men- do not be afraid to follow your
instincts. They kept your species from dying out thousands of years ago, they
still work now. Follow them. Honestly. I wont lie, not every woman/ man you
meet is ‘the one’ but have an open mind to the possibility you will meet them
at any time. Even if you meet them on the day you die, trust me when I say
he/she will be worth the wait.
In fact, waiting till the day you die may
be a good day to meet your soul mate, because every second you spend with them
is like living a lifetime. Every second is perfect. You would die the happiest
person alive… or not so alive. Obviously.
Women- don’t always bitch about not knowing
or not finding ‘the one’ just yet. Please believe me when I say he/ she is out
there. Believe me. If I can find my soul mate, anyone can. Please accept they
aren’t going to be the sharpest tool in the shed and they aren’t going to be a
looker like Chris Hemsworth or a Jessica Alba, but what they will do is treat
you how you deserve to be treated. Like a fucking princess. They are out there.
Please never loose hope of finding them, like I said earlier, even if you don’t
find them until your last day on this planet, it will be worth the wait. Believe
in yourself, believe in them. You will succeed.
A lot of rambling has happened in this
post, but for those who cant be arsed to read through it all (don’t blame you at
all) but the lesson is, don’t slap yourself in the face. Keep looking. Keep believing,
everyone has got someone, somewhere, you WILL meet them at some point in your
life (if you do die before you meet them please feel free to give me a slap)
but its your job to pull your finger out your ass and grab them and never let
them go. Be vigilant… be open… be ready, it may run past you in a second, my
advice, get your fucking trainers on because love is a marathon. Get ready to
run fat boy.
Peace.
